Playing on "peak" as mountain and "to see" as beholding

This is clearly a different form of writing than I would usually do. Recently I’ve struggled with discipline, faith, devotion and religion, the same way I’ve struggled with balancing everything else in my life: relationships, friendship, business, work, and even education. Being introspective and looking deep into my life, I have always asked what my previous years, or my previous self, looked like, what was beautiful, what went wrong, what could have been better, and where I completely messed things up.

Does it get better? Maybe it will. Maybe I end up living a life far from what I dreamed of. Maybe I will learn to forgive myself and truly learn to love the journey God gave me to run.

Back to the topic: I was inspired by the transfiguration of Christ, but in a different way. Matthew 17:1-2, Luke 9:28-29, and 2 Corinthians 3:18 speak of the transfiguration:

“After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light.”

In this verse, Christ and three of his disciples had to climb a mountain for the transfiguration to occur. I always asked myself: why did he have to climb the mountain for the transfiguration? Why not the synagogue, the road or in a room with the disciples he chose?

Christ isn’t alone in this pattern. Abraham climbed a mountain too, leaving the servants behind at the foot of it, so that only he and Isaac went up together, not knowing yet how the story would end. Moses climbed Sinai into the cloud where the glory of the Lord was beheld. Over and over in scripture, the mountain is where the ordinary is left behind, and the encounter happens. You cannot bring the whole camp with you to the place where you meet God face to face.

This led me to a question: did I ever really climb to the top of anything, just to see, just to behold what I could really be? In my career — did I climb long enough just to behold what was there? In my relationships — did I really give my all in climbing that mountain, just to see? In my faith — did I really surrender everything just to find out if it would strengthen me? The goal, all along, was just to see ( if I would be transfigured).

Hence, the journey remains incomplete if we stop climbing before the view. Each day, we are given another step. Another opportunity to remain. Did you finish building that product just to see? Did you stay with that business through the difficult seasons, just to see? Did you give your relationships, friendships, everything you had, just to see? Did you keep praying over a situation just to see? Did you keep reading Scripture when it seemed ordinary, just to see? Did you choose discipline over comfort, day after day, just to see? Perhaps so much of life is simply about remaining long enough to behold what faithfulness can become.

Another lesson I learnt here is that most times you do not need the entire crew to see the glory. The bible accounts that this transfiguration happened days after Christ asked, “Who do you say I am?” It’s worth noting that not everybody is meant to see this glory; not everybody has to experience it. Perhaps we are meant to drop some baggage on the journey to the top of the mountain, and only the closest and dearest would see it.

Those same three, Peter, James and John, weren’t only there for the mountaintop. They were the ones he brought deeper into the garden of Gethsemane too, at his lowest, when his soul was sorrowful even to death. And there, they slept. The very witnesses of his glory were the ones who couldn’t stay awake through his agony. Which means the strength we lean on for the climb to the top might be fast asleep in our greatest pain; Maybe that’s not a betrayal to hold against them. Maybe it’s just what it costs to be human, even for the ones closest to the glory.

I am no longer asking life to become easier. I am asking for the discipline to remain. To keep climbing. To keep building when progress is slow. To keep learning when the excitement has faded. To keep loving when it requires sacrifice. To keep showing up, day after day, to see.

Maybe that is what every mountain in life is asking of us. Not whether we can reach the top, but whether we are willing to become the kind of person the climb demands. Because perhaps transfiguration is not a single moment waiting for us at the summit. Perhaps it is what happens to those who choose to keep climbing.

So my dose of introspection to myself today would be: don’t be too quick to turn back. Stay with the work a little longer. Stay with your faith a little longer. Stay with the people you love a little longer. Stay with the discipline a little longer.

We all have a mountain to climb. The only question is whether we’ll remain long enough… just to see.